How to Bounce Back When Tension Threatens to Wreck Your Vacation (or Your Week)

Carolyn Sharp
Aug 12
4 min read

Geoff and Carolyn enjoying Grenen together.

I’m writing this from the very tip of Denmark. Grenen, where the Baltic and North Seas crash into each other in a mesmerizing, foamy collision. It’s the kind of spot that makes you think, Wow, nature can be both beautiful and intense at the same time. (File that away… there’s a relationship metaphor coming.)

We’re on a big family trip: Geoff, my dad, his girlfriend, and all our kids. Which means we’ve had all the vacation classics: belly laughs, inside jokes, quirky detours… and yes, a few meltdowns.

The smiling photo of Geoff and me I shared online? It was taken just hours after I started feeling sick and less than a day after a big family blowup we had to navigate together.

In vacations past, that combo, my body giving up and emotional tension in the group, would have derailed things completely. There would’ve been sulking, silent resentment, maybe even a “Let’s just go home early” moment.

But this time? We bounced back. We snuck away for a beer and a bag of Nordic candy. We laughed at the absurdity. And we kept enjoying the trip.

It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t because “things are just easier now.” It’s because we’ve spent years learning (and practicing) the exact skills I teach in the Fuel section of my book Fire It Up. Skills that let you recover from the inevitable bumps, whether you’re at the northern tip of Denmark or just managing the everyday chaos of home.

Here’s how you can do it too:

1. Communicate Honestly Before the Explosion

Most blowups don’t appear out of nowhere, they simmer and then blow up out of control. We notice we’re irritated, overwhelmed, or hurt, but we tell ourselves:Now’s not the time.It’s not worth it.I don’t want to make it worse.

That’s the emotional equivalent of ignoring a funny smell coming from your car before a long road trip.

Instead, try catching the tension early. That might mean saying:

“I’m feeling overstimulated. I’m going to take a quick break before I snap.”
“I can feel my patience getting thin, and I don’t want to take it out on you.”

Yes, it feels awkward at first. But the alternative, stuffing it down until it bursts, costs more in the long run.

2. Build Emotional Safety, Not Just Avoid Conflict

People often think “healthy relationships” = “no fighting.” But that’s not it.Healthy relationships are ones where both partners trust they can bring up the hard stuff without being punished for it.

That safety comes from:

Listening to understand, not just to reload your counterargument.
Responding to upset with curiosity instead of defensiveness.
Making it clear (in words and behavior) that “we can have conflict and still be okay.”

When emotional safety is strong, you can disagree, even argue — and still feel connected at the end of it.

3. Repair the Injuries That Keep Repeating

Some conflicts are one-offs. But others? They show up like bad sequels.You know the plot before the opening scene:

Who’s going to get hurt.
Who’s going to retreat.
Who’s going to try to fix it too fast.

Instead of just “getting over it” each time, slow down and ask:

“What’s the deeper thing that keeps getting touched here?”
“What would help this not just feel better in the moment, but actually heal?”

Real repair isn’t just “I’m sorry.” It’s identifying the wound, changing the pattern, and proving over time that you’re both committed to protecting the relationship from repeat injuries.

4. Stop Walking on Eggshells

Walking on eggshells might seem like the polite thing to do. “I don’t want to upset them” but this impulse and action erodes trust. Why? Because it communicates: I don’t believe you can handle me being honest.

A strong relationship is one where you can speak up without fear that everything will collapse. That requires mutual agreements like:

We name it when something feels off.
We don’t punish honesty, and in fact we express AND show gratitude when our partner speaks up even when it is hard to hear.
We’re on the same team, even when we’re disagreeing.

Why This Matters Beyond the Vacation

Life, like travel, will always serve up a mix of breathtaking moments and logistical nightmares. The goal isn’t to avoid the hard parts, but to know how to navigate them without losing each other in the process.

When you have these skills in place, the “crash” moments, whether it’s two seas meeting in a churning current or two personalities colliding in a tense kitchen, don’t have to sweep you away. You can stay grounded, recover faster, and get back to the laughter, the connection, and the memories you actually want to remember.

PS: If this sounds like the kind of relationship toolkit you want for yourself, my Fire It Up Self-Study program is on sale until August 15 — $99 off with code AUGUSTLOVE. It’s lifetime access to 15+ hours of tools, exercises, and guidance that will help you build the connection you actually want, no matter where you are on the map.