Authenticity, Gratitude, and a Gift for You This Week

An Anti-Black Friday Love Note (Plus Free Workshops)

Seana Williamson, photographer. Carolyn handing Seana a coffee. (Pretend she's handing you a coffee on this cold morning.)

As we wind up Thanksgiving week, I've been thinking a lot about authenticity.

A client told me recently that they chose to work with me because I felt real: Not perfect,

not polished....just human.

That feedback landed deeply, because like so many of us, I know how easy it is to get pulled into performance mode. We spend so much energy trying to look like we have it all together, trying to say the "right" thing, trying to prove we're successful, lovable, or "enough."

And every single time I drift too far into that proving energy, I burn out. I lose track of what actually matters to me, which is helping people build secure, joyful, honest relationships that make this world a more connected place.

The Courage Authenticity Demands

Authenticity and gratitude might sound like soft words, the kind you see on inspirational Instagram posts with sunset backgrounds, but they are not soft practices. They ask everything of us.

Authenticity asks us to get uncomfortably honest:

• Where am I performing instead of being real?

• What am I hiding because I'm afraid it's too much or not enough?

• What would it look like to let who I really am matter more than how I appear?

• Am I saying yes when I mean no, or staying silent when I need to speak?

• Where am I contorting myself to fit someone else's expectations?

  
  

These aren't easy questions. They require us to look at the gap between who we are and who we think we're supposed to be, and that gap is where so much of our exhaustion lives.

Gratitude asks us to stay present with what's true:

• Can I notice what is good and real in my life, even if it's not perfect?

• Can I honor the people who are doing the hard, quiet work of loving, repairing, and showing up?

• Can I include myself in that circle of appreciation?

• Can I hold both the difficulty and the beauty at the same time?

  
  

Gratitude doesn't mean pretending everything is fine. It means acknowledging what is working, what is good, what isworth protecting, even in the middle of struggle.

Why This Community Matters

This community has been such a powerful reminder of both authenticity and gratitude.

Every time you read a post, share a story, show up for a workshop, do a hard exercise with your partner, or even just whisper to yourself, "I want something better than this," you are participating in the work of connection.

You are choosing not to numb out. You are choosing not to give up on yourself or your relationships. You are choosing to believe that intimacy, repair, and joy are possible, even when it feels impossibly hard.

That matters more than you know.

Because here's what I see when I look at this community: people who refuse to settle for disconnection. People who are willing to look at their own patterns, their own wounds, their own defenses and ask, "What if there's another way?"

You're not waiting for your partner to change first. You're not blaming your childhood and calling it a day. You're not pretending that "fine" is good enough.

You're showing up and doing the work. You're choosing love over being right, repair over resentment, curiosity over contempt. And that is everything.

My Anti-Black Friday Offering

So this week, as a very real and practical "thank you," I'm opening up a lot more support.

For the next week, I'm making my previous workshops available for free.

You'll also be able to watch the Calm Holidays, Strong Boundaries summit where I'm a panelist, at no cost.

You can think of it as my anti-Black Friday offering.

Instead of "SALES! SALES! SALES!" and manufactured urgency designed to make you spend money you don't have on things you don't need, I want to offer something different. I want to offer space. Reflection. Tools that help you feel more connected to yourself and the people you love.

Because that's what actually matters. Not the stuff. Not the performance. Not the highlight reel. The connection. The repair. The moments when you look at your partner and think, "Oh. There you are. I see you."

Here's What You'll Find:

Free access to all my past workshops this week, including:

• How to stop the same fight from happening over and over

• Repair strategies that actually work (not just "I'm sorry")

• Building emotional safety when trust has been broken

• Keeping your connection alive when life gets overwhelming

  
  

Free access to the Calm Holidays, Strong Boundaries summit, where on December 4th, from 12-4 EST, I'm joining other relationship and leadership experts for a powerful 1-day masterclass series.

My session is called Happy Holidays, Strong Boundaries: The Relationship Secret to Joyful Seasons, and it's specifically designed for women in leadership who are tired of giving away their time and energy during the holidays. This free event is for the bold mavericks leading from calm, not hustle. Whether you're a team leader, entrepreneur, manager, or mom coming home to your family after a full workday, you'll learn how to protect your time, energy, and joy this season. The summit features experts on financial boundaries, anxiety management, embodying boundaries, and so much more.

A special bonus: $100 off my Fire It Up Marriage Accelerator this week only with code THANKS2025. This is my signature 6-month coaching program that has helped hundreds of couples move from stuck and disconnected to secure, joyful, and deeply intimate.

These workshops are for you if you want to:

• Stop having the same fight over and over and actually understand why it keeps happening

• Feel closer and more understood in your relationship, even when life is chaotic

• Learn how to repair after conflict instead of pretending it never happened

• Build more secure, steady connection in a season that can feel anything but steady

• Give yourself permission to do the holidays differently this year

  
  

You are welcome to sign up for as many workshops as you like and share them with anyone in your life who could use more support and connection right now.

An Invitation for This Week

As you move through Thanksgiving week, whether you're hosting, traveling, staying home alone, or navigating complicated family dynamics, I invite you to check in with yourself regularly.

What do I need to feel a little more authentic today?

Maybe it's really enjoying the food without punishing yourself later. Maybe it's sneaking in 10 minutes of quiet between relatives. Maybe it's asking your partner for backup with a tricky family member before you walk in the door. Maybe it's choosing not to participate in conversations or traditions that are harmful to you. Maybe it's honoring the holiday in a way that fits your values, or choosing not to honor it at all.

There is no one right way to "do" Thanksgiving or the holidays.

There is only the question: What is most true for me right now? And how can I honor that truth with as much care and compassion as possible, for myself and for the people around me?

This might mean:

• Setting a boundary with a family member who always criticizes your life choices

• Leaving the gathering early instead of white-knuckling through dessert

• Asking for help instead of martyring yourself in the kitchen

• Saying no to Black Friday shopping and yes to a quiet morning with your partner

• Choosing connection over perfection when the turkey burns or the pie collapses

The holidays don't have to be a performance. They can be an opportunity to practice showing up as your real self, messy and imperfect and deeply worthy of love.

What I'm Grateful For

Seana Williamson, photographer. A photo of Carolyn's favorite Mark Nepo quote.

I want to take a moment to say what I'm truly grateful for this year.

I'm grateful for every person who has trusted me with their story, their pain, their hope that things could be different. I'm grateful for the clients who show up week after week, doing the hard work of changing patterns that have been in place for decades.

I'm grateful for this community, for your willingness to be vulnerable, to ask questions, to share what's working and what's not.

I am grateful to every one of you that bought a book, left a review and most importantly, used the tools and stories within to create a deeper, richer relationship with your partner, that colleague, that cousin you've been estranged from. That is what it has always been about for me.

I'm grateful for my own relationship, which continues to teach me that secure connection isn't about never struggling. It's about knowing how to come back to each other after we do.

And I'm grateful for you. For reading this. For caring about connection enough to be here.

Thank you for being part of this community. Thank you for all the ways you are already working to make your corner of the world more connected, more honest, and more loving.

I am so grateful for you.

Here is the linktree link to all those resources.