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Valentine’s Day: All Romance or All Hype and Pressure?



When February 14th is rolling around…


Some feel excited and giddy….


Others feel dread. Or irritation. Or pressure.


It’s a loaded holiday. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the celebration of love. And yet Hallmark and Hollywood have twisted it up into something far removed from its true meaning.


For couples I work with, I urge a focus on honoring their relationship in whatever season they are in together. If madly in love-that’s great!! Find the best ways to amplify and enjoy it in whatever ways best suits you. Creativity, spontaneity, play and true presence are the best ingredients to bringing fresh energy into any celebration.


If not in a season full of passion and romance, that’s ok too! All relationships go through challenges-and in honoring and being honest about where you are, you can decide where to go next. On Valentine’s Day, couples feel pressure to be and look and act so in love, and this forces down the real feelings they may be having. When we do that, we may skirt hard conversations, but doing so creates distance and disconnection.


Instead, being honest offers the opportunity to connect where you are rather than the pressured expectations you may feel from the ads and hearts all around us right now. You can actually feel closeness and intimacy from being real about your struggle together-whether that’s in the domestic struggle, the lack of fun, the fighting, the boring sex…whatever it is, being honest helps you move it! Pretending requires a lot of resources in energy and letting that go creates room for energy that is much more enjoyable and rewarding!


Anyone being honest about relationships will acknowledge that everyone struggles. Relationships are work! That may not be romantic but I find honesty sexy! Try it! I hope connecting and honoring the relationship you have helps you move closer to the one you want with one another. May Valentine’s Day serve as the starting point. Use the day to be honest and get clear about where you want to go together and watch as you get fired up and ready to create it together! You can do so as part of your Valentine’s Day plans, as you let go of expectations and be together as you actually are.


And if you are working to bring yourselves out of a bumpier spot, want to connect to the love you used to feel, or just want some more of my Roy Kent energy helping you create the relationship of your dreams, I am offering a special Valentine’s Day coaching package*. For February only, couples can sign up for three coaching sessions, with worksheets and guides to help them deepen their connection, improve communication and bring some fire back to their relationship. The package includes coaching support between sessions to make sure you are making the progress you want. All of this is at a special Valentine’s Day discount to celebrate your relationship!


This is only available in February to three couples, because my counseling practice is so full and I have limited additional space for coaching clients. So if you are interested, shoot me an email and we will set up a video call to go over your goals and the details. I want to offer as much support as I possibly can to build love to couples working to deepen their connection. If interested, reach out and we can set up a call to get started!


*Open only to new couples not in therapy with me.