When you consciously shift your mindset to the goals you have, to the relationship you want, you are able to begin moving toward the things you want. When you work to choose curiosity over judgment, compassion over criticism, you're not just thinking differently, but creating new neural pathways. You're teaching your brain a new way to relate.

Do you know the purpose of your relationship? Is that a strange question? Many couples get really puzzled when I ask them that question,...